Regina Simmons: Snob Spokeswoman
CALIFORNIA — Is snobbery back? Regina Simmons believes so because, in her opinion, she happens to be a snob. “It used to be that being a snob was considered derogatory; an insult”, explains Simmons. “But, I don’t see where we have to embrace this connotation… snobs should embrace their own snobbery.”
New societal emergence, such as political correctness, as well as good old-fashioned politeness have made snobbery obsolete with the typical snob with its Monopoly-Guy stereotype complete with monocle, top hat, and general ignorance of a population willing to shine shoes for a buck. “That is not snobbery”, says Simmons. “Snobbery is modern and hip. It’s talking on a cell phone really loud. It’s not opening a door for a person and not saying ‘thank you’ to a person when they open a door for you”.
Simmons explains that becoming a snob has its requisites. “Not anybody can be a snob. A woman, in particular must be at least commonly regarded as attractive, slim, should have a job in something like cosmetology, and having a tan is a must because nobody will accept the superiority of a fair-skinned snob.”, says Simmons.
“Men can be good snobs too provided that they are somewhat handsome,have a high-paying job, and wear dress shirts with khaki’s on a regular basis”, explains Simmons, regarding the snobbery level of a male. “No matter what, a snob should never say ‘thank you’, and should not acknowledge those who are not dressed to impress. Wear high-heel shoes to give yourself an ego boost with height that you really don’t have, and make sure they click really loud when you’re walking”.
On explaining the importance of a tan, Simmons elaborates on the importance of the fake-bake. Simmons says that one should “definitely layer fake tans so it looks like you’ve been in the Caribbean for weeks even though you might have been in Peoria, Illinois”. Simmons explains that we all can unleash our inner snob, but there is a certain part of the population who probably cannot. “In order for there to be snobs, there have to be the shoe shiners, and when those shoe shiners come crawling, it will be the modern snobs who will turn their noses up and say, ‘humph’. Just like the Monopoly Guy.”
