Stop Talkin Trash About Boyerstown (Bars, Pizza, and Education)

 

By Jeff Walkins, Maintenance Worker

Lately there has been a lot of trash talkin about Boyerstown in the local newspaper. There’s all this talk about how there’s nothin to do in Boyerstown and how run-down everything is. 

And so what if there aint nothin but bars and pizza shops on every corner, you won’t find and I can bet you a dollar to a doughnut that you won’t find better pizza than Shepp’s Pizzeria on Edmond Street. Great town for a biker gang, by the way, and you can always find a pop machine on every corner too. There’s a lot going on in this town and let me tell you that these people who are always writin in letters about how there aint no jobs and how all the mines has being shut down need to get more optalistic and let me tell you: Boyerstown is the All American Town. What are these people doin for Boyerstown? Ya’ins guys aint doin nothin but complainin, that’s what, and it is always the complainers who just sit and complain. As the maintenance man at Boyerstown Elementary, I can tell you that the sliding board aint rusted up and I know that the textbooks are looking pretty good, very good and I’ve picked up these books and let me tell you that they look pretty good and they were printed back in the 70’s, so not only does Boyerstown elementary have great sliding boards but it also knows that a penny saved is a penny earned. Boyerstown High School has one fine football team and them kids are gettin a fine education on the side and I can tell you that coach Scott teaches some good history as much as the teachers in the other county schools, and I can tell you that them teachers aint doin no coachin. This is a great town where everybody knows everybody. The other night at Rick’s Bar, I was talking to my friend Ed and he was tellin me about this great used car lot that has friend Dale was opening it’s called Dale’s Cars and Auto and I started thinkin about how this is a great area to open up a used car business, only in Boyerstown. Then on the south end, they’re building a new fast food joint and openin up a gas station and thats going to bring jobs so people are gonna hafta learn what progress is in Boyerstown and that this is a hard workin town build on tradition and coal. So there might not be alotta coal business goin on but at least we can say that Boyerstown is an All-American town.

Jeff Walkins article and vernacular have been slightly edited

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According to O’Reilly, “Public schools just aren’t that public anymore.  What happened to hickory sticks and paddles?  Insulting the students?  What happened to learning that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree?”  One class involved O’Reilly informing the class that Abraham Lincoln “could lift 5 logs in both arms from the East Coast to Nebraska”, and in another class, O’Neill says that “the Whigs were called Whigs because a lot of them wore wigs.”

“Sure, the class might not know that they are learning tall tales, postulates, and mere assumptions, but at least they are getting a traditional public school education”, says O’Reilly.  “Does it really hurt the students to learn that William Shakespeare was a senator from New England?”

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