NEW YORK — “I don’t see anything funny about the way I dress”, says Simon Finnegan. “I’ve always been into individuality, and I like to mix things up a little bit when I dress”. The 42-year-old banker has always dressed a little on the flamboyant side. Finnegan is of Irish ancestry, but moved from the South to New York in 1975. Speaking in a faux-British voice with a hint of a Southern dialect, Finnegan comes off as an all-around oddball to customers everywhere. Finnegan is often seen wearing a feathered hat, tights, and other garb that are outdated by centuries.
“When I’m working at the bank, I get some weird looks”, says Finnegan. “But the bank recognizes my individuality”. The banker’s main issue is finding women willing to date a man that wears tights and a feathered hat all the time. “I figure that women might find it romantic”, explains Finnegan. “I mean, I kind of have a troubadour vibe going on”. Finnegan’s friends try to help him find a better fashion sense, but he seems reluctant to listen. “We gave him a GQ article that suggests wearing skin-tight jeans with a blazer and spiked hair”, says Frank, a friend of Simon. “But he knows that average men don’t go around dressed like that, and–come to think of it–so does everybody”.
Finnegan says that on many occasions, he has met women by singing outside their window on their front lawn: “They don’t want to date me? That’s fiddlesticks! I sing them romantic ballads, and tell them stories of forests and frolicking shoes”. While it’s difficult to find reasonable fashion advice for men, that doesn’t mean that Simon couldn’t rock a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “That’s just not the way I want to dress”, says Finnegan. “If women can’t accept the way I dress, then they probably aren’t worth it anyway”.
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